Something Better
by Laureen Lycan
Summary: Short attempt at humor. My twist on Link's final battle with Demise. Now, with more Ghirahim!


Something Better

Thunder boomed with finality soon after Link plunged his sword into the Demon King. The heroic teen straightened his posture and stepped back warily, panting as he stood in the ankle deep water of Demise's created battlescene.

Even as Demise staggered to his feet, a sense of triumph slowly began reinvigorating the young hero's muscles as he gripped onto the victorious holy blade.

Link narrowed his eyes at his exhausted larger foe, black as the night, with hair that surely burned with the embers of hell itself; as the blonde teen met the gaze of the Demon King, he noted the dawning realization of defeat slowly begin overtaking his grotesque features.

The young hero watched the Demon King lean the massive black blade on the ground for support – but just then, something incredible happened.

The herculean sword disappeared in a trickle, much to Demise's astonishment. Then, to everyone's surprise, the sound of Ghirahim's voice filled the battlefield, the demon lord's words drenched with indignation and finality.

"Oh, that is _it,_ Daddy Demise!"

With an elegant aerial sommersault, the flamboyant white demon stood floating in midair, crimson cape thrown dashingly over one shoulder.

With utter confusion, Link could only watch dumbstruck as the Demon King held his hands up imploringly. "Ghira-bear?" the much larger figure asked, blinking somewhat hurtfully towards the pale spirit in confusion.

Unfortunately for Demise, this affectionate appellation did nothing but further inflame the pale sword spirit's merciless wrath.

The slim figure snapped an interrupting arm in between them for silence. "Oh, don't you 'Ghira-Bear' me!" Ghirahim tossed his silver hair to the side aggressively, turning to put a hand on his hip with dramatic flair.

"First you lose a millenia ago to that blonde _bimbo-_-" the words left the flamboyant figure in a hiss "-_-_ you call a Goddess, and_ now_ after all my hard work, all my careful planning, you blow it all and lose to this amateur skybrat?" Pausing, he turned to Link briefly. "No offense, kid." (Link could only nod in understanding.)

Purple rimmed eyes flashing, he returned his attention to Demise. "You _promised_ it would be different this time! You _promised _you'd change. Well that is _it,_" he spat out, crossing his arms. "I am done. I may have sprung you out of the Grounds this time, but don't expect me to do this again. I am DONE, Demise." Ghirahim floated away from the monstrous black figure, shaking his exquisitely groomed pale head. "There's only so much of this a spirit can take."

Sensing an opening, the Demon King began, "But Ghirey-"

"Oh, NO!" Raged apparently incited once again, Ghirahim floated higher, his cape falling from a perfect ivory shoulder. "Don't you think that's all! And _then, _after ALL my hard work, I finally get you out of the grounds, and did you even stop to thank me...? Did I even get a _little _appreciation?" Ghirahim straightened in the air, one hand on his hip and the other thrown into the air, unwittingly summoning down a bolt of lightning to accentuate his statements.

At this, a look of panic began overtaking Demise's features, and the black entity bit his lip nervously, grappling for words to appease his angry sword.

"No!" Ghirahim finished for him, pointing an infuriated finger in accusation. "You just ripped my sword out, and it was all_ Hylia this_ and _Hylia that_, all over again." Briefly a tremor overtook his voice, which emerged in a low hiss. "You didn't even stop to notice my new haircut!"

With some shock, Link turned as he heard Fi's voice sound, seemingly out of nowhere. In all the drama, no one had noticed the fey blue sprite emerge from her blade.

"You don't have to take that, Ghirahim! All my calculations indicate that you can do better than this ingrateful oaf!" Fi stated emphatically, with rather more personality than Link had ever remembered.

With a snarl, Demise turned his attention to the blue spirit, a sudden available target for his helpless fury. "You stay out of this, you meddling little robot!"

"Hey!" His sword disrespected, Link suddenly remembered himself, and raised the Master Sword to the Demon King at his verbal assault on Fi. "Don't you talk to Fi that way!"

"She's right!" Ghirahim interrupted, gratefully accepting the tissue Fi handed him, as the blue spirit patted him on the back, glaring daggers at the black demon.

"You _never_ appreciated me! Well, it's over. I'm moving on." The fashionable Demon Lord straightened his posture, snapping his fingers and throwing the yellow sash summoned from around his waist back at Demise.

The silent Demon King instinctively caught the yellow sash, holding it in his hands with a look of distress. Despite the absurdity of the situation - which Hylia had most certainly _not _prepared him for - Link rather thought Demise looked a bit pitiful, really.

Ghirahim turned his back on the Demon King, nose raised in the air. "I'll try to remember the good times... The humans' suffering as we deafened them with the sound of their own screams, our long hours of torturing for recreation... But I'm moving on."

Shock and denial now having passed, Demise suddenly gripped the yellow sash, hissing at the androgynous spirit. "FINE!" he bellowed, finding his voice. "Go ahead and go! You're NOTHING without me, you hear?" But the white spirit was already walking away, arm in arm with Fi, who turned to shoot Demise a scathing glare.

Link, a bit panicked, began walking after the sword spirits, wondering just how the hell they were going to get out of here.

"You'll be back!" the Demon King continued shouting, turbulently waving a yellow sashed fist in the air, hair burning with ferocity. "You'll come crawling back!" Frowning disapprovingly at his foe's behavior, Link began thinking (privately) that Ghirahim _could_ do better.

Ghirahim returned the tight embrace Fi had given him.

With a last huff, he tossed a dismissive hand at Demise, and sashayed into an elegant twirl, lifting a pale hand.

"I am _so _blown!" Pausing mid-snap, a sly grin suddenly overtook the demon lord's features, and Ghirahim turned toward the Chosen Hero. "And sky-child..." the demon lord purred. "After you finish taking care of this jerk, do give me a call if you find yourself missing... swordly company." He licked his lips suggestively at the young man, who could only respond with a look of horrified violation.

The pale demon lord disappeared, and Demise let out a wail of agony as the Master Sword began sucking up all traces of evil.

A few silent moments passed.

"Fi..." Link began, ignoring the rapidly fading sound of the Demon King's accusing screams of infidelity and oaths of vengeance.

"Yes, Master?" the blue spirit responded, back to her unflappably calm demeanor now that the drama had waned.

"Let's not tell anyone it ended like this..." Link said slowly. "Tell them Ghirahim just disappeared, and that Demise...said _something_." The hero paused. "Something better."

"Understood, Master."

* * *

_A/N: Please read and review (constructively)! This was my first attempt as parody/humor... _


End file.
